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bookworm2011

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bookworm2011   in reply to Fidelity   on

NEED HELP, Need work: Hello - I'm new to this site and of course I found it because I have a situation which

you are probably not going to receive the kind of help you need. Many of the people helping financially have left the site but there are some here that will give you really great information or emotional support.Hope that helps.
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bookworm2011   in reply to Mom trying to stay strong   on

Why is it when I know I should be packing, I just can not seem to get up and do it! I

Be encouraged. Your kids will be ok if your ok. I thought I had totally scarred my kids from when we struggled so much when I left their dad. There were alot of days, no heat, no electricity, a little food, homelessness..but today they are both well adjusted and remember more of the great times we had than the bad. Trust me they will take their cues from you..I remember the Christmas we didn't have a tree or gifts, they remember the same day very differently..they recall how it was one of the best Chritmases, We painted a tree on our living room wall and made each other gifts. There was no food but we had a bunch of junk from neighbors(they had dropped off cookies, candy, cupcakes) ..while I worried about no turkey dinner, they remember how cool it was they had a day of sweets! Just hang in there, you are trying to make a better life for your family, don't be so hard on yourself :)
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bookworm2011   in reply to Lori_Lynn88   on

Lori_Lynn88

I think its great your such a hard worker, determined to raise your son well. Have you looked into online education? It requires a computer and thats about it..theres financial aid for it just like if you went to a traditional college..I got one of my degees from Unversity of Phoenix, they are very good. My husband went to University of Texas online which was also good. Look around and check out some online universities..then you can get your education without leaving home or having to worry about transportation. Best of luck to you and your son.
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bookworm2011   in reply to Anonymous40784   on

i need some good opinions. i come from a very dysfunctional family.five years ago was the

I have to agree with you. Life is short. We should make amends if we can, we should at least try. My youngest brother was my life growing up. I took care of him until he was in his early 20's. He married a woman who was insecure about our relationship so he no longer speaks to me or anyone in our family unless he needs money or something. We recently spent some time together at a family function and for the first time in years saw our kids play together. He emailed me and said he wants to start over. My first thought was to say "no way", he has let his wife treat us all like crap for the past 10 years while he went along with it. But I realize that he could be gone tmw, and I would have missed this opportunity to make things right with him, even though its not my fault. I don't want to live with regrets, and I don't want to be unforgiving. It doesn't matter whose fault it is, one day I will wake up or he will, and one of us will not be on this earth any longer. None of our disagreements will matter much then. So do your best, if the other person does not accept your attempts to bring peace at least you know that you tried.
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bookworm2011   in reply to lovemyfamily3   on

First time on this site. Not too sure how this works. But we need a lil help with prayers

Hi,
First I would like to say thank you for the sacrafices your husband and you made for our country. My husband was in the Army for 12 years, 3 in Iraq. He is on permanent disability and receives a check monthly. He also was able to get a job at Lawrence Livermore Lab after 2 years of doing security for Kaiser. It was tough for us when he first got out, about 3 years ago. He couldn't find work at all and was so discouraged. I think its terrible our vets give so much ( and the families) and have such a hard time getting services when they return. I hope your healthcare appt. tmw at VA is for his diability. It took us a while to get ours, but once we did , we got back pay as well so it was a nice check. At least I know for the rest of his life, we have guarenteed income. Do you have a support system? Is your family helping you or do you have a church home? There are a few places that may be able to help you, I will include the links. I also would love to support and help a fellow military family. I go to a great church in Modesto, Shelter Cove..and I live in Manteca.There are alot of grateful people at our church and in our community, including myself... If you ever want to talk or just need a shoulder to cry on, drop me a line ok? My name is Char..take care and I will pray for you guys...

http://www.davcharities.c...

http://www.armedforcesfou...
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bookworm2011   in reply to taylove2215   on

i am 19 years old i have a 2 year old and an 8 month old we had an apartment in aurora

You are very fortunate that your family has opened their home to you and your children. Your boyfriends' disability could take up to three years in all honesty. I think the smartest thing for you to do would be to both get some kind of training or foundation for your futures. You should qualify for grants and student loans, can choose opposite schedules so that one of you (and not the grandmother) is always watching your children as to not become a burden. There are many short term careers in which you can be trained fairly quickly and employable(medical assistant, cosmotologist, massage therapist, etc) it depends on your interests and the demand of where you currently live. If his grandma see's you both trying your best to better yourselves, I think it would make your stay there more pleasant. It's not easy but it is possible if you both want to change the direction your lives are heading in and to get independent so you can take care of your own family. Try to set a goal that you can accomplish and stick to it, in time you will have a job, an apartment again and be self sufficient....I wish you and your family the best!
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bookworm2011   in reply to Anonymous40784   on

About Anonymous40784

Hey Girl,
How are things in your neck of the woods? I am doing ok, trying to get everything done around here so we can enjoy the upcoming week..I need some advice from someone on the outside looking in..My 19 year old daughter lives with her bf and his mom. She has lived with them for three years. The mom let her live there so they could play house, basically and I got tired of the drama so I decided to let her stay and focus on my other three kids. My daughter just graduated college and is looking for a job, her bf goes to school, only the mom works and they are being evicted. My daughter can come home, live with my parents, or in one of our properties but the bf cannot. I pay some of the bills in their household (cable, internet, food, gas) and the mom pays the rest. Now that they all need a place to go, they are looking at us. I do not want to get into a rental agreement with any of them. I would not have the heart to evict my daughter under any circumstances, and this would cause conflict between my husband and I.
I don't have a problem renting to the mom because it would be a business decision and nothing personal but its probably not a good idea even though we arent friends or anything..I just don't want to get caught holding the bag should my daughter and her bf break up you know?
Long story short, I offered them my 5th wheel. Its 34 feet with 2 slides and worth 18,000 but I would accept 5,000 in payments of 500 a month for a year..Heres my question, if I sell it to the mother (she would not live there, my daughter and her bf would) I would be taking at least a 5-6,000 loss for what I can get from an RV dealer..so do you think I should still be obligated to help with the space rent too? (its 400 a month for utilities and everything else)..the mom wants me to commit to help until the kids are on their feet but when I offered the RV, it was intended for her, and she could do as she wished with it now I feel like shes trying to trap me into contiuing to take care of them which I can't do. I would have no additional expense if my daughter just came home so I dont want to take on helping these extra people indefinitely just because the mom committed to doing this. I also need to explain all this to my husband (the terms)..I am trying to be fair and also help my daughter out but trying to not support her choices of living together with someone she isn't married to, which I've been doing this past year and feel I'm sending conflicting messages to both her and my other kids..I also don't want to over extend my credit to this family because they have none and are depending on me to get all of this going for them..My husbands solution is that she should come home or else let them worry about somewhere to live. He wants me to stop contributing altogether which I am not going to do until my daughter is self sufficient and can pay her own bills and take care of herself and she is a long way off from there but is taking steps to make it happen..I just want to have my head clear when I talk to him because despite how he feels, he said he will back me up 100% with whatever I decided to do, regardless of if he agrees with it or not. My biggest issue isn't the money, it's my relationship with her. We just got back on track and I don't want anything to come between us, but I want to do what's right, not what's easiest..I value your opinion..thanks for listening
Char
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bookworm2011   in reply to Dell9   on

Dell9

Alot of parents are unable to purchase school supplies this year. The schools are hit hard as well but if there are schools with a high percentage of free/reduced lunches, those schools are usually given free backpacks with school supplies. Check to see if your school had any donations. Some people will donate any extra supplies to the school for classrooms that need it. Check with your school district for any organizations that donate to your kids school. Its a hard economy for many, first come first served in lots of organizations since many cities are bankrupt..do your best, its all you can do for you and your kids, if you let yourself succumb to depression it's that much harder to live your life. Try food pantries, churces or any organization near you to get help in any area you can. Many churches offer free counseling services as well as a team envirornment to help you in other area's..surround yourself with people that care and can help you get through this tough time. Positive people can also be a great impact on your kids...they are watching to see how we handle the hard times in life..I hope knowing your not alone and others are going through tough times too gives you the hope to hold on..keep fighting your kids are depending on you :)
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bookworm2011   in reply to AidpageTeam   on

AidpageTeam

Love to all you guys,
Mama Char

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bookworm2011   in reply to AidpageTeam   on

AidpageTeam

A prayer goes out to my daughter and her friends..reliving your good friends suicide this summer is antagonizing I know..we can't know "why?" or what a person is going through to take their life at such a young age..but do know, it is a trick of the devil to make you think things will never get better..if you only knew what God had in store for you a month or year from now, you would never take your own life. Keep her in your prayers, thoughts and hearts and that will keep her memory alive.

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bookworm2011   in reply to AidpageTeam   on

AidpageTeam

Hi,
When I try to respond to a post someone sent me, I can't, it will not post. I have to click on their name then respond and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to be able to respond directly from what they sent me?
Thanks
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bookworm2011   in reply to ladydiamondz   on

ladydiamondz

I just want to encourage you, I know your in a tough situation and so are the kids. They are probably acting up because its new to them and hurts that their dad is gone. Have you gone down to apply for WIC yet or any social services? Try not to lose control with the kids, I know its difficult with the stress you are under but they are children and don't know the half of what your worried and stressing about. They do need to learn to listen to you though , especially the 8 year old. Try taking her things away when she doesn't listen and keep taking things until you get her attention. Once she doesnt have anything, she needs to realize the only way to get things back is to behave and earn them back. I would stop yelling at them, it just doesnt work because if you yell all the time, they start thinking you aren't serious. I only yell when I am done talking. I do spank my kids if I have exhausted reasoning with them and they still choose to misbehave. But I only spank them for for two things, lying and disrespect. They have to know I am so serious about those two things, it will get them a spanking. If they lie to me, I feel it will start a pattern of not taking responsibility for their actions and this will be a huge downfall later in life. If they learn to lie then they get better and better at it and thats not what I want for them. As for disrespect, thats intolerable. One day your cute little girls will become teenagers(ugghhh) and they need to know now about respect. My two year old son likes to hit people in the face, I told him its not nice, it hurts, be nice show respect. He doesn't understand the concept of respect I know, however I take his hand and gently touch my face if he hits. Now, when he hits< I remind him "show respect, show me nice touches" and he self corrrects and touches my face softly. As he gets older and better understanding, he will be taught that hitting is disresepctful and it will lead to a spanking. I only yell for something serious...once my little one took off running in a parking lot before I could grab him and I yelled sooo loud, he was terrified! He came right back and was crying really hard because I scared him. It got his attention so well I decided to only yell if I want him to stop where he is, like in a parking lot or if he is about to do something really dangerous like touch a cooking pot because I know it will get his attention. Of course this requires a ton of self control from me that I don't yell all the time (even when I feel like it) It will be a learning process for all of you but it will make you a better parent once you can practice self control and let the kids see it..I can teach you some couponing to save a little money on essentials like diapers but as soon as your up to it, it may be a good time to start potty training so you can save the money on buying diapers...Stockton is not a good place for jobs, the city is in a lot of financial ruin, but I do hope you got the hotel job..do you have any family that is able to help you?
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bookworm2011  

Save on gas mileage---- When you drive above 60mph, gas decreases quickly. accelerate

Save on gas mileage----
When you drive above 60mph, gas decreases quickly. accelerate slowly and steadily.

The same goes for breaking, the more you have to break, the more you will have to accelerate again. Use cruise control if you have it to keep your speed constant.
Here's a big one, don't let your car idle...For every two minutes a car is idling, it uses about the same amount of fuel it takes to go about one mile. If you are going to be stopped for a little while (in a drive thru or waiting for a train) just turn your car off.

Faulty spark plugs can greatly effect your gas consumption and gas mileage, as can dirty and clogged up air filters.

Open windows can also cause drag and require your car to use more gas, so keep your windows closed if possible, especially when driving at higher speeds.

After filling your tank up, double check to make sure that your gas tap is screwed on all the way. This may not seem like an obvious way to improve your gas mileage, but a loose gas cap can lead to gas loss through evaporation, which is the cause for millions dollars of lost gas in the U.S. every year.

Driving on under inflated tires is another cause for less fuel efficiency. At least once a month, check your tire pressure

Drive Less: Combine your trips and errands.
Carpool More - There are plenty of other people that will be interested in saving money. Ask around at your place of work or with friends. My friends and I coupon so we take one car weekly to do our couponing and grocery shopping, that way I am only taking my car out for this chore once every few weeks.
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bookworm2011  

Reduce your energy Costs---- When I got a $700 electric bill, I scheduled an appointment

Reduce your energy Costs----
When I got a $700 electric bill, I scheduled an appointment for PG&E to come to my home to check for faulty wiring and any signs of what I could do to save energy and cut costs...heres what got my bill down to about 98 dollars a month since then:
When you’re leaving a room, turn off the lights and ceiling fans
Turn off appliances you aren't using.There is no need to have your TV and computer on when they’re not being used. Having a computer running 24/7 can easily add $200 to your power bill every year.

Appliances use electricity even when they’re idle, so unplug them. Even small items like phone chargers, coffee machine, toasters, etc. that are not in use add to your electric bill. You’re wasting energy just by keeping them plugged in.

If you have not done so already, it is time to replace your conventional light bulbs for the florescent energy saving bulbs. They may cost slightly more, but they last a lot longer and use a lot less energy. Over the course of a year, you should see a reduction on your electrical bill.

Wash dishes by hand.f you have a dishwasher and are running it every day, you’re adding about $4 a month to your electricity bill. That’s almost $50 a year, and it doesn’t even take into account the water costs.

By manually washing your dishes, you can eliminate this dishwasher costs.

If you have ceiling fans, use them instead of the AC as they require a lot less energy.
Turn down the thermostat to 68 degrees during the winter, and wear a sweater in the house

When it comes to drying your clothes, save on your electricity bill by hanging them to dry on the patio, or inside on a clothes rack. This will prevent you from having to use the energy-hungry clothes drier

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bookworm2011  

Just wanted to say hello to all my aidpage friends and check in with you. My husband had a

Just wanted to say hello to all my aidpage friends and check in with you. My husband had a wonderful birthday and the time away was much needed. Having the two older kids in college and not working, I am still looking for ways to cut our expenses and not work full time, I really love being home all day with my younger ones. I am very happy to say I have made a few more adjustments to our budget so we can continue investing, pay our bills and also have a little fun (camping and NBA games!)
By homeschooling our daughter, I have eliminated daycare altogether which was $40 a day...also theres no need to buy school supplies, or new clothes for school. In addition, we are not paying $160 a month for Karate lessons for her, as we have $800 in tution to spend per semester, so her Karate, Spanish, and Art classes will be essentially free.
We are also selling our rv and buying a smaller one that can fit in our driveway which will save us $60 a month storage.
I also began renting our kids textbooks for college instead of purchasing. This is saving us a ton. One book was 170 new, 99 used and the rental was $42.
We also signed up for Bank of America's free museums which will be part of the little kids entertainment. I am also trying to cook more at home which will save us at least 50-75 a week in eating out. Because we are gone so much, its hard to have the food on hand even when I do cook, so I need some idea's on how to keep from spending so much while we are out everyday ( I do alot of driving with our home business)
We also changed our cable package from 80 to 45 a month( I could have gotten it down to 33 but my husband refuses to let go of his HD!)
and finally, with our income lower due to my working part time, we qualified for income based student loan repayments for my husband and mine were deffered for another year..all the little things add up..
Im going to do a calculation to see what our total savings are and put that amount towards my credit cards because I am making double payments on them every month to pay them off quickly. Because we have three cars and only drive two, I am considering doing non op on one of them, but does anyone know if I still would need to keep it on the insurance ? If I do, its not really worth it..but in all we are making some improvments to continue with managing our budget.
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bookworm2011   in reply to sho sho   on

sho sho

Hi have you heard of the site called ThredUp.com ? I have used it to get really high quality clothing for my younger kids. They have name brands like Justice and Old Navy etc....you pay anywhere from 7-10 a bag and can view the clothes your buying. It might help you get a start on their school clothes. Also check out couponmom.com to get started on how to coupon, there are free items in stores every week and Texas has some really good deals. This doesnt help you immediately with money but can help you slowly build a stock pile of things and free up some grocery money so you can use it towards other bills. I hope this helps you.
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bookworm2011   in reply to Mom trying to stay strong   on

Oh wow, I just found out that my college tuition went up 12% this year but my financial

With four kids, and two of them in private colleges, the financial aid is a blessing even though it doesnt cover it all. One graduates in three weeks, thank God and I have paid half her loan off and still have a 10,000 loan for her. My sons college is 13,000 a year and we got financial aid for 13,100 this year, again such a blessing. I am worried about his tution increasing over the next four years but know its worth it to give them a chance at an education and a future. Hopefully you won't have too much out of pocket this year or can find some additional scholarships, there are some good ones at Washington state and University (the Cougar commitment and the Husky promise) both are income based. Not sure where you attend but you apply for these in Jan each year and they pay for a full four years..maybe your school has some untapped scholarships as well?
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bookworm2011   in reply to Mom trying to stay strong   on

Please everyone pray for us. A very nice family has offered to let us live in the

Good am,
I just wanted to tell you I am praying for you and your kids. I hope the place to stay works out. You have a beautiful family and I think you have been very strong through this whole ordeal for your kids.I experienced homelessness when I had my first two children which was bad enough, I can't imagine having the stress of four in that situation, but I can tell you are a fighter and I am praying good things come your way.
Have a blessed day
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bookworm2011   in reply to rubgor1   on

About bookworm2011

THank you very much! i am so relieved ")
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bookworm2011   in reply to Mom trying to stay strong   on

About bookworm2011

Thank God, I know how you must have felt..they started talking about lymph nodes and white blood cell count and then just to torture myself I googled it and read many stories of cancer etc so I was terryfied,,,then decided to pray and let God take care of it because I was making myself sick with worry...I am so fortunate that despite my problems a sick child isnt one of them
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